This past weekend, I stood in front of the mirror and couldn’t believe what I saw. My hair looked like it was in one of those Dark & Lovely ads. You know the ones where they do the before – girl has dry and hard to comb hair; then the after – hair is silky and smooth you can shake your head and your hair moves in slow motion while the girl smiles and the voice over says “Dark & Lovely, so silky so smooth hair moves”. Well my hair was definitely the before image. I was tired of combing it every day and that’s when I decided I was going to bring my problem before madam chair and engage in the great debate of Braids vs Weave.
Madam Chair: Good day. Today we will hear the argument of braids vs weave. On my right, for braids, is Tendo. And to my left, for weave, is Roo. I expect a clean debate. You both know the rules so let’s begin.
Roo: Good Afternoon counsel. Last time the individual had braids so it’s an easy decision really. The individual should weave. Defense rests. [Roo closes folders and begins to pack up].
Tendo: Good Afternoon Madam Chair, (something tells me Roo hasn’t done this before. Might I point out to Roo that there is no counsel, she is not the defense and this is not a court of law. Anyway, back to the debate. Roo pointed out that the individual had braids last time and that is because braids are easier to handle, no brushing needed. And never mind the fact that a weave is high maintenance.
Roo: Tendo, you are right a weave is high maintenance but it looks more natural. Defense rests again.
Tendo: Stop resting! We’re far from over. I would like to point out that the individual occasionally likes to engage in sporting activities. Here are the pictures to prove it. [Tendo shows images of the individual running and swimming]. These activities will ruin the weave so braids would be best.
Roo: Braids take the entire day to do, an entire day. The individual is a busy working journalist and does not have the time do sit and have her hair done. What are the people supposed to do? Not engage in breaking story material until she’s done? Besides braids take forever to undo and can damage the hair.
Tendo: I’ve got three words for you Roo. WINTER. WIND. TRACKS.
Roo: Oh no you didn’t.
Tendo: Yes I did.
Roo: [Roo jumps over the table] Somebody hold me back! I’m going to show her how we take out braids where I’m from.
Madam Chair: Order! I said order! Compose yourselves, both of you! Just give me a moment… Okay [draws a deep breath]. After taking both arguments into consideration – and a certain point made about wind never to be repeated in this court again – I have no choice but to side with Tendo, Braids wins.