I Joined a Running Club

In keeping with my #1 resolution – Exercise More – on my New Year’s Resolutions List I decided to join a running club aka jogging society aka jog soc. We meet seven days a week, the dress code is gym wear and I was voted road leader.

Well, it’s not exactly every day of the week; more like when you remember to pitch. And it’s not so much of a jogging society as it me conveniently jogging at the same time as others. So yes, I voted myself in as the head of a society made up of members who don’t know they’re in it. As leader of this very elite society, I felt it was my duty to address a few terms aka road lingo.

Hi/ Hey, Hello & Arm Raise-Freeze: There are three ways to greet fellow jog soc members. Knowing which greeting to use is important for consistency.

“Hi/Hey” is best used when you’re in your zone running like Usain Bolt. It’s a quick, polite and easy greeting.

“Hello” is for the brisk walking ladies who use this time to catch up on neighborhood gossip.

“Arm Raise Freeze” is best used when you are on the opposite side of the road to another jog soc member or when you are listening to music and don’t want to yell one of the other greetings. You raise your arms and freeze it for 2 seconds then go back to you rhythm.

Pacing: This is what happens when someone runs past you and you suddenly feel very unfit. When they’re a few meters ahead of you, you convince yourself that you can run at that pace to. And so you pace yourself behind them (although half dying) just to prove that you can keep up. It’s also convenient when you don’t want to look like you’re running alone.

Challenge: A challenge is when you see someone approaching you from far, coming from the opposite direction. There is no accepting of the challenge. You have to speed up your pace and whoever manages to sustain the fastest pace, until you cross each other, wins the challenge.

Facial Expressions: Runners have two facial expressions. Determination and Determination!  If you smile or look happy when you run, except for when you’re greeting of course, people will think that running is a game for you (like monopoly or twister) and that you are not serious!

Uphill: This is a term used when you go up a hill or an incline. (Listen to Titanium by David Guetta)

Downhill: This is the time when you go down a hill or decline. (Listen to Run the World (Girls) by Beyonce)

Home Stretch: When you’re almost home. (Listen to Pump It by Black Eyed Peas)

Rewards: After you’ve finished your run you may reward yourself with take-out or a box of chocolates… LOLest, just kidding!! Your reward will come at the end of the month when you jump, literally jump, onto the scale and the number that appears is less than it was the time before. It’s like golf in a way. The lower your number the better your handicap…it makes sense in my mind.

So why am I doing this? Why am I part of jog soc? I’m training for… wait for it… wait for it… wait for it… the Two Oceans Marathon – 5km fun run. Yesssssss!! Oooooo I can’t wait. After I conquer that, who knows what I’ll do next.

Deep Quote.
Best read with a film score playing in the background.

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